Brain Washer's favorite quotes
"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."— Albert Einstein
Monday, May 11, 2009
Life Without You is Like
Life without you is like ...
Philosophical
Life without Dreams
Victory without Competition
Person without Ambition
Goal without Challenge
Life without Hope
Hope without Hard-work
Life without Worries
Praise without Respect
Knowledge without Application
Joy without Friends
Care without Empathy
Help without Need
Talk without Deed
Theory without Practice
Shooting without Target
Journey without Destination
Mind without Ideas
Story without Moral
Story without Suspense
Story without Climax
Beginning without End
Life
Sleep without Dreams
Injury without Pain
Head without Ache
Joke without Humor
Year without December
Week without Weekend
Weekend without Fun
Month without Paycheck
Job without Salary
Woman without Makeup
Athlete without Steroids
Face without Expression
Beauty without Brain
Vacation without Money
World without Me :)
On Relationships
Heart without Heart-attack
Heart without Heartbeat
Bike without Girlfriend
Wedding without Ring
On Children
Child without Laughter
Child without Trouble
Child without Toys
Toy without Child
Mr. Bean without Teddy
Tom without Jerry
Super-Hero without Under-pants
On Food
Curry with Spice
Pizza without Cheese
Pizza without Toppings
Dinner without Wine
Food without Calories
Egg without Yolk
Food without Salt
Breakfast without Tea
Tea without Sugar
Hotdog without Sausage
On Health
Head without Hair
Hair without Dandruff
Wealth without Health
On Nature
Rainbow without Colors
Clouds without Rain
Rain without Umbrella
Bird without Wings
Fish without Water
Tree without Leaves
Spring without Gardens
Garden without Flowers
Flowers without Fragrance
Day without Sunshine
Sky without Stars
Beach without Sun
Beach without Sand
On Special Occasions
Christmas without Santa
Christmas without Gifts
February without Valentine's Day
Deepavali without Lights
Deepavali without Crackers
On Technology
Email without Subject
E-Mail without Spam
Blog without Readers
Internet without Google
Technology without Nerds
Technology without Innovation
Japan without Cars
Science without Necessity
Computer without Virus
Computer without Windows
Game Console without Remote
Mobile without SIM
SIM without Talk-time
Talk-time without Friends
On Management
Organization without Leader
Leadership without Vision
Mission without Vision
Vision without Mission
Mission without Strategy
Strategy without Mission
Six-Sigma without Data
Talent without Opportunity
Talent without Recognition
Meeting without Agenda
Task without Goal
On Project Management
Project without Scope
Project without Budget
Project without Schedule
Project without Change Requests
Project without Issues
Project without Project Manager
Project Manager without PMP
Project without Sponsor
On Finance
Loan without Interest
Income without Tax
Life without Credit
Life without Good Credit History
On Places
Singapore without Singlish
Singapore without HDB
Singapore without GST
Singapore without MRT
Singapore without Fines
Indonesia without Earthquakes
On Art
Poetry without Rhyme
Photographer without Eye
Song without Lyrics
Writer without Pen
Painter without Canvas
Painter without Brush
On Politics
Bush without War
World without Terrorism
Al-Qaida without Osama
India without Politicians
Election without Manifesto
On Everyday things
TV without Sound
TV without Remote
Door without Handle
Mirror without Shine
Clock without Time
Cow without Milk
Library without Books
School without Exams
Utilities without Bill
Dinner without Bill
Ride without Bumps
Traffic without Jam
Winter without Heating
Summer without Air-conditioning
Letter without Stamp
Mail without Address
Address without Zip Code
Fever without Medicine
Bow without Arrow
Book without Index
Airplane without Air-hostess
Bath without Soap
Bathroom without Water
Bathroom without Drain
Toilet without Flush
Toilet without Toilet-paper
Pen without Ink
Pencil without Lead
Gun without Bullet
Car without petrol
Car without wheels
Car without Steering
Car without Exhaust
Pant without Zipper
Underpants without Elastic
Pyjama without Strings
House without Roof
Room without Windows
Tubelight without Starter
On Bollywood and Celebrities
Bollywood without Shahrukh
Bollywood Movie without Songs
Celebrity without Scandals
On Cricket
Cricket without Sachin
IPL without Cheer Leaders
My Favorite
Calendar without Date
Date without Year
Year without Birthday
Birthday without Present
Present without Love
Love without Kiss
Kiss without Hug
Hug without Squeeze
Labels:
Art,
Bollywood,
Cricket,
Finance,
Food,
Health,
Life,
Love,
Management,
Nature,
Philosophy,
Places,
Politics,
Project Management,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Relationship,
Special Occasions,
Technology
Friday, March 13, 2009
Quotations by Famous People
------------------------------------------
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
— Abraham Lincoln
------------------------------------------
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
- Albert Einstein
To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.
- Albert Einstein
Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
— Albert Einstein
------------------------------------------
If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
— Bill Gates
It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
- Christian D. Larson
Music is the silence between the notes.
- Claude Debussy
Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
- Dostoevsky
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
— Douglas Adams
------------------------------------------
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it "The Present".
— Eleanor Roosevelt
------------------------------------------
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
- Galileo
We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
- George Bernard Shaw
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity.
- George Orwell
A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.
- G.K. Chesterton
Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.
- Heinrich Heine
Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...
- Henry David Thoreau
A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition. Like money, books must be kept in constant circulation. Lend and borrow to the maximum.
- Henry Miller
Formal education will make you a living, self education will make you a fortune.
- Jim Rohn
Sometimes we have to choose between what is right and what is easy - Albus Dumbledore
— J.K. Rowling
I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.
- John Stuart Mill
------------------------------------------
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
- Kipling
------------------------------------------
I thought it was impossible too before I did it.
- Lance Armstrong
------------------------------------------
You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
- Mahatma Gandhi
The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mahatma Gandhi
------------------------------------------
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
— Marcus Tullius Cicero
------------------------------------------
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain
Buy land. They've stopped making it.
- Mark Twain
I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.
- Mark Twain
Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.
— Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
— Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
— Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
— Mark Twain
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain
------------------------------------------
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
— Maya Angelou
------------------------------------------
Talent wins games, but team work and intelligence win championships.
- Michael Jordan
------------------------------------------
A life not lived for others is not a life.
- Mother Teresa
------------------------------------------
Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
— Oscar Wilde
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
— Oscar Wilde
Be Yourself; everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
------------------------------------------
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Success is about turning stones into milestones.
- Sachin Tendulkar
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
- Thomas Edison
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
------------------------------------------
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo
Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters.
- Victor Hugo
Emergencies have always been necessary to progress. It was darkness which produced the lamp. It was fog that produced the compass. It was hunger that drove us to exploration. And it took a depression to teach us the real value of a job.
- Victor Hugo
------------------------------------------
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
- Voltaire
Shun idleness. It is a rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant of metals.
- Voltaire
------------------------------------------
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- Wendell Johnson
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
------------------------------------------
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
- William Shakespeare
Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
— William Shakespeare
------------------------------------------
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty
- Winston Churchill
------------------------------------------
When the student is ready, the master appears.
- Buddhist Proverb
Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
------------------------------------------
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
— Abraham Lincoln
------------------------------------------
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
- Albert Einstein
To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.
- Albert Einstein
Try to become not a man of success, but try rather to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
— Albert Einstein
------------------------------------------
If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
- Bill Cosby
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
— Bill Gates
It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.
- Charles Darwin
Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
- Christian D. Larson
Music is the silence between the notes.
- Claude Debussy
Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
- Dostoevsky
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
— Douglas Adams
------------------------------------------
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it "The Present".
— Eleanor Roosevelt
------------------------------------------
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
- Galileo
We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.
- George Bernard Shaw
The great enemy of clear language is insincerity.
- George Orwell
A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.
- G.K. Chesterton
Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.
- Heinrich Heine
Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder...
- Henry David Thoreau
A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition. Like money, books must be kept in constant circulation. Lend and borrow to the maximum.
- Henry Miller
Formal education will make you a living, self education will make you a fortune.
- Jim Rohn
Sometimes we have to choose between what is right and what is easy - Albus Dumbledore
— J.K. Rowling
I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.
- John Stuart Mill
------------------------------------------
Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.
- Kipling
------------------------------------------
I thought it was impossible too before I did it.
- Lance Armstrong
------------------------------------------
You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
- Mahatma Gandhi
The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mahatma Gandhi
------------------------------------------
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
— Marcus Tullius Cicero
------------------------------------------
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain
Buy land. They've stopped making it.
- Mark Twain
I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.
- Mark Twain
Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.
— Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
— Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
— Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
— Mark Twain
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
— Mark Twain
------------------------------------------
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
— Maya Angelou
------------------------------------------
Talent wins games, but team work and intelligence win championships.
- Michael Jordan
------------------------------------------
A life not lived for others is not a life.
- Mother Teresa
------------------------------------------
Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
— Oscar Wilde
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
— Oscar Wilde
Be Yourself; everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
------------------------------------------
To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Success is about turning stones into milestones.
- Sachin Tendulkar
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
- Thomas Edison
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
------------------------------------------
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.
- Victor Hugo
Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters.
- Victor Hugo
Emergencies have always been necessary to progress. It was darkness which produced the lamp. It was fog that produced the compass. It was hunger that drove us to exploration. And it took a depression to teach us the real value of a job.
- Victor Hugo
------------------------------------------
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
- Voltaire
Shun idleness. It is a rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant of metals.
- Voltaire
------------------------------------------
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
- Wendell Johnson
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
------------------------------------------
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
- William Shakespeare
Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
— William Shakespeare
------------------------------------------
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty
- Winston Churchill
------------------------------------------
When the student is ready, the master appears.
- Buddhist Proverb
Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
------------------------------------------
Labels:
Achievement,
Famous,
Humor,
Motivation,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Success,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters,
Wisdom
Random Quotations
---------------------------------------------
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
- Calvin from "Calvin & Hobbes"
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
- Ernest Haskins
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
On going places: It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
The good thing about life is that it is never so bad that it can't get worse !
It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?
The main point is to keep the main point as the main point.
Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big your God is.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Promises are meant to be broken, deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!
On Meetings: Tell them how you gonna bore them, bore them, then tell them how you bored them.
The only constant in this world is Change !
Many a false step was made by standing still.
Experience is what you get when you do not get what you want.
- Anonymous
True learning occurs when knowledge is tempered with experience and experience is reinforced with knowledge.
- Anonymous
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
- Anonymous
Every man has something that he can do better than others. Usually, it is reading his own hand-writing.
- Anonymous
Only five per cent people enjoy what they do, rest go to work.
- Anonymous
Meetings are events in which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
- Anonymous
Past is a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to stay there forever.
- Anonymous
Children are like Project Managers - it's never their fault.
- Anonymous
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
- Anonymous
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous
---------------------------------------------
Labels:
Calvin and Hobbes,
Humor,
Life,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Random,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Toastmasters Quotations
---------------------------------------------
The more preparation you have ahead of time, the less perspiration you have during the speech.
I'm not here to speak. I'm here to change the way you think.
---------------------------------------------
The more preparation you have ahead of time, the less perspiration you have during the speech.
I'm not here to speak. I'm here to change the way you think.
---------------------------------------------
Labels:
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
Success Quotations
---------------------------------------------
If you try hard, your success would be as inevitable as the rising of the sun.
The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.
- Old Chinese Proverb
---------------------------------------------
If you try hard, your success would be as inevitable as the rising of the sun.
The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.
- Old Chinese Proverb
---------------------------------------------
Labels:
Life,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Success,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
My Own Quotations
---------------------------------------------
Your achievements are only as good as your dreams.
A Toastmaster who doesn't want to speak is like a Musician who doesn't want to compose music.
---------------------------------------------
Your achievements are only as good as your dreams.
Joining Toastmasters and avoiding to speak is like getting married and avoiding sex.
Being a Toastmaster and not participating in your club's speech contest is like going to Hawaii and locking yourself in a hotel room.
A Toastmaster who doesn't want to speak is like a Musician who doesn't want to compose music.
---------------------------------------------
Labels:
Achievement,
Motivation,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Success,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
Parenting Quotations
---------------------------------------------
When you have the first kid, you become a parent. When you get the second kid, you become a referee.
When you have the first kid, you become a parent. When you get the second kid, you become a referee.
When a child is born, a parent is born.
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
- Jesse Jackson
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
- Jesse Jackson
---------------------------------------------
Labels:
Family,
Life,
Parenting,
Parents,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
Wife - Worries Invited For Ever
------------------------------------------
- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Milton Berle
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake".
- Henny Youngman
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
- Anonymous
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you". The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice".
- Anonymous
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Anonymous
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
- Anonymous
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
- Anonymous
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
- Anonymous
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
- Anonymous
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, "Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelery.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; Then Pow! it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"My wife found out..."
------------------------------------------
Labels:
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Public Speaking,
Quotations,
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Table Topics,
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Wife
Marriage - Life is Beautiful !
------------------------------------------
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
- Scottish Proverb
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken
------------------------------------------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
------------------------------------------
Marriage is a three ring circus:
-engagement ring
-wedding ring
-suffering
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why?
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why?
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life !!
-Anonymous
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Anonymous
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
- Scottish Proverb
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
- Henny Youngman
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
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Marriage is a three ring circus:
-engagement ring
-wedding ring
-suffering
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why?
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why?
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life !!
-Anonymous
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Anonymous
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
------------------------------------------
Labels:
Humor,
Life,
Marriage,
Public Speaking,
Quotations,
Quotes,
Table Topics,
Toastmasters
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